Musings on Running
In the summer of 2005, I entered my first 100 mile ultra-marathon trail running race. I wanted to see if I could put my new found techniques of mindfulness, discipline, and patience into physical endurance. I had endured enough psychic pain. I wanted to convert it; reverse it and learn from it.
I knew that it beat laying in bed, ruminating and plotting my own
destruction. When I ran, I felt more alive. Running at first became running away from the issues. I didn’t have to be in the world when I was running above it. I chose the sinuous single-tracks with their expansive views and romantic rock outcroppings. I got to look down on the world and their problems.
I thought if I could just increase my endurance, I could run all day and night and then magically never have to face up to my shit. It was fine for a spell but it became harder to keep the distance both literally and metaphorically. I grew tired of all the training and didn't put in the miles I needed to run a 100 miles in one day. Regardless, I chose to compete in 3 ultra-marathons over the course of a year . I never finished any of them but I filmed them all.
Paradoxically, it was L.S.D that partially helped me to recover
myself: (Long, Slow Distance.) Running turned every one of my painful paths back towards me and led me ultimately straight back to my balanced, peaceful self. Running helped lead me away from the dark and into the light.
Scott’s Blog
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
